We Pick Him up a Day Early

Surprise! We pick G up a day earlier than originally thought. From what was said originally we thought we were getting him this Friday. Got the real word today that instead we are picking him up at the hotel the orientation is in on Thursday morning. So much for that laid back approach I was taking. Even though there is one day difference, it makes a huge difference on getting everything done before I have to leave and get him.

I officially registered him at the school today as planned. That was quick and easy. I picked up the papers last week and filled them out over the weekend. I was in an out in a matter of minutes.

I have to wash the sheets and comforter on G's bed. We have had guests here the past couple of weeks. His room in our guest room when we don't have an exchange student in it. I also want to vacuum that room. I swear J may have been gone since January, but I am still finding pieces of paper and wrappers that he had left on the floor when he left. It amazes me how long his presence is felt long after he is gone. He also broke one of the shades in the bedroom that I just discovered. He was known to do things like that and not tell us. I want to get that fixed before G gets here. Other than the regular house cleaning I do, there isn't much other than that to get done.

G leaves Sao Paolo tonight at 11:30. He already messaged me numerous times with the list of things he is bringing. He wants to make sure he doesn't forget something that he needs. He has been packed since the weekend. He just keeps double checking himself. I would rather he do that than have him get here without something important. It does make it a little more exciting now that he will be here in a couple of days. I am looking forward to his arrival.

Not Nesting

I have read on some of the blogs about some host parents nesting. I will admit that I nested a lot last year. This year, with the exception of buy a new comforter because J ripped the one I bought last year for that bed, I haven't done much to nest. The bedroom is pretty much the way it was when J left. Obviously, I have vacuumed the room, but haven't done much else. It was in pretty good shape.

I did go and buy some of the school supplies I knew G needed. That way he doesn't have to worry about getting them. We have the house key we are giving him on a soccer key chain. I also bought some small American flags to decorate the bin we have to put his supplies. I did order US flag guitar picks for him, but they have not arrived yet. He is an avid guitar player, so I thought that would be something he would like.

The other things L and I are working on is the ground rules and what they are going to be. Some of the issues we ended up having were based on lack of ground rules. J had chores, but that was basically it. When other things started being a problem, we had to start considering to take privileges away. That is when things really started to sour because J could not see that it was for his own good. One of the big things I will suggest to all of you who are new or haven't hosted in the age of social media, limit their time on the computer. I think there is someone else I know who reads this blog that can agree on that. Do it from the very beginning. The program we are hosting through this year has told the kid 30 minutes of computer time a day. They also suggest sending e-mail once a week with what they did to family and friends. We are going to increase the computer time to one hour which we can do. The 30 minutes is a suggestion. We aren't going above that though for a long time. There are so many social sites in different countries it was impossible to block them all. This way we have it up front what the rules are. The more time they spend talking to home not only hurts the host family unit, but it makes themselves miserable. They can't get the full experience out of their exchange if they can't let go of home.

One of the other things that I do suggest is everyone to learn about their kid's host country and culture. Some of the issues we had were cultural. J, coming from a country where independence is given at a real young age, wasn't happy about having rules. Now, some of his things weren't exactly true cultural but exaggerations of what his parents thought of their culture. J had no rules at home.....none......his parents already saw him basically as an adult. He could come and go as he pleased. We didn't do a good job preparing him for having to have rules. Of course, we didn't know the extent of it until he got here, but I do feel we could have done better. Even if your kids have rules at home, they are probably going to be different than at your house. Explain that to them and why. Don't just tell them the rule. Give them an explanation of the reason behind the rule. They will understand it a lot better that way.

One of the other things we are doing this time is going to have G call us Mom and Dad. We didn't do that with J. One of the biggest issues by J's own admittance was he never saw us as authority figures. He saw us more like siblings. He said if he called us Mom and Dad he felt he would have gotten it in his head better. Depending on your age, you may be closer in age to siblings than your child's parents. That was the case with us. J treated us like were his siblings. We are going with Mom and Dad because of the connotation that it brings.

For those of you with younger children, especially toddlers, make sure your host kid understands what it is like being around kids that age. If you can do it before they come great. If not, do it when they get there. We made the mistake of taking a youngest child who had never been around younger children. Once the novelty of the big sibling wears off, there are going to be problems arising. Make sure your host child knows that you will discipline your toddler. Also, explain that sometimes you have to cater to the toddler's needs to keep things from escalating. I would go into an explanation of how when they were little their parents had to do the same things. This time we are more fortunate that G has a sibling much younger. He is the oldest,and has many cousins around T's age. We will still explain some of these things to him as every child is different. T is normally really laid back, but he is two and sometimes he acts like most two-year-olds.

I hope that most of this information is helpful. I know it doesn't apply to everyone. I hope some can learn from our mistakes. I look forward to everyone's journey, and I hope you all enjoy ours.

We are doing it again

Well, for those who are new and need an introduction to our family, I am K a stay at home mom. L is my husband. T is our two year old son. We hosted last year a boy from Germany. This year we are hosting G from Brazil.

Our hosting experience last year didn't end the way we had hoped. That being said I met and became friends with many wonderful host mom. We even started an unofficial club. This year we are hosting with a different organization than we did last year. Even though our previous organization has a great reputation, and they were many people who were good to us there were some reasons that required a change. We look forward to to working with the new organization and have enjoyed working with them.

We learned a lot from our last hosting experience. We have realized some mistakes that we have made. I do think that I can be resource to people others since we went through so much last year. That being said, we do realize that every experience is different. One kid is not like another. That is why we decided to do this again. We are just going into this experience much wiser.

We have talked to G. He just turned 17. He is the oldest in his family. His sister is much younger than he is. He loves music and sports, so he will fit right in this family. What is interesting this time around is that Brazilians follow many of the US sports. WE had to teach J last year about baseball and American football. G follows those sports. I will have to get over the fact he is somehow a Patriots fan, but we won't throw him out over that. He will be a junior here, but is actually doing his senior year here. This year does count for him, and he will receive his diploma in Brazil once he returns. G plays the guitar. He asked us if he could bring it with him. We told him that he could. We are looking for him to arrive next Friday. I am also looking forward to sharing our journey with everyone.